A Place of Candor: Body after Baby

I am not going to talk about the physical part of my body - we just do not need to go down that road. We just don't.

I am talking about the inside body - the workings of the inside. I could talk about my heart and get all mushy, but I am not taking that route either.

I am talking about the inside body - from poop to pains to peeing.

Speaking of going pee - do you know they asked me to go pee while I was delivering Liliana!? How absurd is that? I told them I could not go. Evan said "if you're embarrassed, we'll all turn around." I kid you not - as soon as those words came out of his mouth, every body in the room turned around...even the doctor. No questions asked. No waiting for my answer. They just turned around like Evan held the highest authority in the room. Now come on, really - let's just think this through...I am giving birth, everything is out in the open - why would going pee embarrass me at this very moment? (Do not get me wrong, I appreciated the gesture and concern...but really) Needless to say, I did not pee at that time - or for some time after. About an hour after Liliana was born I sat on the toilet with the nurse standing next to me and I had to pee so bad, but my body was not hearing of it. I could not physically go pee. The nurse had to straight cath me until I could urinate on my own. Liliana was born at 6:30pm, I did not pee until 10:30pm. As I started to pee, again with the nurse standing next to me, I said "I feel like a big girl going pee on the potty!" We laughed. I peed.

It was not long after I got home that I did not feel right - down there. There was pressure when I stood up and it made me just want to cross my legs or sit down. Turns out my uterus was falling out - no kidding. I mean, it was not hanging out bad...but it was falling out. Today, my uterus is "in place" - so some ultrasound shows. I am not 100% convinced it is. However better, much better...still some small issues here and there.

Unexplainable pain. I have had ultrasounds done for this pain in my abdomen - everything is fine. I have been sent to the General Surgeon for a possible hernia - that was a no go. But be sure to note that he was going to have me come back in six weeks to re-check it and then he might do the hernia surgery anyway because there really is no good test to tell if there is a hernia or not. It is up to his discretion when he pokes and prods me and then maybe do the exploratory surgery. Money sucker. Needless to say, I have not gone back to him. The pain is less - but still there.

Pooping - ode to pooping, when you finally poop. Before I got pregnant, overall, I had no issues going poop. Then I got pregnant and it changed that part of my system. Dog gone it. There just isn't anything like taking a good poop. During my pregnancy I would get a wave of nausea - clearly different from morning (all day) sickness - and then I could poop. Strange, strange, strange. I figured that once my peanut was born, all would be good in the land of pooping - oh not so. Thankfully this does not happen ALL the time, but it happens enough...I will get very hot and sweaty and feel nauseous and just over-all really sick about 10 minutes before I poop. Ridiculous and unheard of!

I was told my body would still be changing/returning to "normal" (if there is such a thing after baby) for 9 months after delivery. Well, it is 11 months and some things are not back to what is "my normal"...